A You a Real Camper or Just a Backpack-toting poser?

A You a Real Camper or Just a Backpack-toting poser?

Orem, Tina
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Do you know your capilene from your cat hole? Do you have the chutzpah to see the world beyond the parking lot, or should you just hang it up and get a hotel room? Take this quiz and find out.

1. How far away from your car do you pitch your tent?
A. At least a couple of miles
B. 15 feet
C. What are you talking about? My RV is the tent.

2. My idea of dinner while camping is:
A. Whatever I catch
B. Whatever is freeze-dried and for sale at the gear shop
C. Grilled ribeyes, fresh orzo with goat cheese, and ice cream

3. My favorite all-around camping tool is:
A. A Leatherman
B. A solar shower
C. A microwave

4. I find out about good camping spots from:
A. Outside Bozeman and my buddies
B. Backpacker magazine and trails.com
C. US Weekly

5. Can you stand up in your tent?
A. No
B. Yes
C. I told you, my RV is the tent. So yes. And I can do yoga in there too.

6. Is the trail to your campsite walkable in Crocs or flip-flops?
A. No
B. Yes
C. Are you talking about the trail to the Porta-Potties?

7. Which is the dominant sound near your camp site?
A. Birds chirping
B. Truckers passing by on the highway
C. Metallica blaring from a nearby campsite and people yelling, "Drink, motherf*#%er!"

8. Is there a picnic table in or near your campsite?
A. No, unless a fallen tree or flat rock counts
B. Yes
C. My RV has bench seating. And a dishwasher. HA!

9. While camping, the best place to keep beer at a good temperature is:
A. The stream
B. My stomach
C. The refrigerator

10. What do you do during downtime on your camping trip?
A. Think about the natural world around me
B. Sleep
C. Check e-mail

Give yourself two points for every A answer, one point for every B, and zero for every C.

If you scored 18-20 points: You get it. You’re self-reliant and like to get away from the masses to see the really good stuff the world has to offer. You would sooner kill a man with your Leatherman than share your campsite with an RV.

If you scored 12-17 points: At least you're trying. You're probably pretty handy with gear, but you don't like to camp where you can't get decent cell-phone service. You think REI is the best, and you wear those funny-looking brimmed outback hats when you’re hiking. We're praying for you.

If you scored fewer than 12 points: Sorry, poser, but it's time to stop telling everyone you're "going camping." You're just having a party in the woods, and even the bears are ashamed. But since you’re here, can we use your RV’s bathroom? The Porta-Potties are pretty nasty, and don’t get me started on that other guy’s cathole…
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